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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24960103">Matchmaking 101 with Alisa Haiba</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleuriste/pseuds/fleuriste'>fleuriste</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gen, The best siblings, and kinda clueless alisa, clueless lev, everyone is... really gay, subtle yakulev</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:15:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24960103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleuriste/pseuds/fleuriste</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>An idea pops into Alisa’s head. “Lev?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Mmrph?” He replies through a mouthful of popcorn. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Why aren't you in a relationship?” </i>
</p><p> <i>“I am in a committed relationship with volleyball,” Lev says seriously. </i></p><p> <i>Alisa giggles. “Volleyball can't take you on cute dates, though.” </i></p><p> <i>Chewing thoughtfully, he says, “Oh, true. But I mean—” </i></p><p> <i>“I'm sure everyone would love to date you,” Alisa continues. “You’re tall, and handsome, and athletic, and—”</i></p><p> <i>“Nekoma’s future ace!” Lev butts in excitedly. </i></p><p> <i>A determined look comes alight in her eyes. “Nekoma’s future ace deserves a someone. Just watch, Lyovochka. By New Year’s I promise you won't be single anymore.” And with that, Alisa shoves a vaguely protesting Lev out of her room and hatches a plan.</i></p><p> </p><p>—————</p><p>Alisa just wants what’s best for her little brother. And with so many volleyball players around, there’s gotta be someone, right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haiba Alisa &amp; Haiba Lev</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Matchmaking 101 with Alisa Haiba</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>another two year old fic I fished out of my drive!! I’m such a sucker for fluffy sibling plots and wanted a way to have everyone cameo a bit so here’s the result of that wooo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It's almost midnight when Alisa Haiba rewatches </span>
  <em>
    <span>Roman Holiday</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the sixth time, clutching a pillow to her chest with a box of tissues close by. As the credits roll, Alisa lets out a wail and falls over dramatically as if she's been speared through the heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lev pokes his head in, concerned. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Neechan</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa whimpers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lev plops down on her bed to get a better look at whatever she's watching. “Oh, that old movie? Again?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa sits up indignantly. “It is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>just an ‘old movie’, it's a masterpiece! Films nowadays don't have this kind of powerful storyline or iconic love story—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A blank look from Lev. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa sighs. “Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lyovochka</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you don't get it, do you. I guess you'd have to be in a relationship to understand…” An idea pops into her head. “Lev?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmrph?” He replies through a mouthful of popcorn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why aren't you in a relationship?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lev cocks his head like a confused puppy. “Should I be in one?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not if you don’t want to, but—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—I am in a committed relationship with volleyball,” Lev interrupts seriously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa giggles. “Volleyball can't take you on cute dates, though.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chewing thoughtfully, he says, “Oh, true. But I mean—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>would love to date you,” Alisa continues. “You’re tall, and handsome, and athletic, and—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nekoma’s future ace!” Lev butts in excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A determined look comes alight in her eyes. “Nekoma’s future ace deserves a </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>neechan—</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just watch, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lyovochka</span>
  </em>
  <span>. By New Year’s I promise you won't be single anymore.” And with that, Alisa shoves a vaguely protesting Lev out of her room and hatches a plan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you in love with Lev?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akane Yamamoto stares at her, horrified. “Alisa-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling benevolently, Alisa says, “We could do nice sister-in-law things together. Like a baking party! Or wait, movie night! We could marathon romantic comedies and—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alisa-san,” Akane bursts out, face beet-red. “I don't like Lev-san. Not that I don't admire him! Just… not in that way?” She hides behind her megaphone. “I'm really just here for </span>
  <em>
    <span>niichan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she adds, nodding towards Yamamoto. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Alisa replies, slightly disappointed. She'd been warming up to the idea. “That's okay, Akane-chan. Now, explain the rotation to me again, please?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the game finishes, she joins the team on the center floor where they're celebrating their win, but instead of heading for Lev, she approaches their pudding-headed setter, who’s standing a little apart from the crowd, fingers twitching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's Kenma-kun, right?” she asks warmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon seeing Alisa, Kenma’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly. “Alisa-san.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You boys played wonderfully today. Lev’s gotten better too, hasn't he?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little,” Kenma admits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa laughs lightly. Compliments from Kenma come sparingly; even she knows that. Encouraged, she leans in conspiratorially. “Kenma-kun, if I may ask… do you like Lev?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma blinks slowly at her before saying a few moments later, “I'd like him to spike more consistently so I don't have to work through seven possible tosses every time it's his turn to hit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe this was going to be slightly harder than Alisa had expected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over the next two weeks, Alisa works her way through the entire volleyball team (and their family members), and to her chagrin, her little brother still doesn't have a significant other.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Resolving to go about this more methodically, she starts with the first-years. Not wanting to lose to Akane’s volleyball knowledge, she's been coming to practices during her days with less classes, observing and learning. On one of these days, she approaches the trio of first years huddled in the back of the gym and greets them enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two of the boys squeak back a “hi”, then disappear, jabbering something about needing to stretch to avoid injuries. The only one left is Inuoka, whom Lev occasionally mentions and she vaguely remembers seeing in a match. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Inuoka-kun!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He both glows a little and looks terrified. “Alisa-sama, hello!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa smiles at him and makes small talk about how practice and his first year is going, and it's nice. She spent her high school years in the art room sketching and sewing, and she often wishes she'd also taken up something more social. Tennis, maybe. As it is, the Nekoma Boys’ Volleyball Club has become the team she's always wanted to be a part of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talk until Alisa subtly slips in a “would you make out with Lev if you had the chance to”, to which Inuoka blushes bright red and mumbles, “probably not with him,” and glances shyly over at Shibayama. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And okay, that's a little disappointing, because having a boyfriend who's the same age would be nice for Lev, but Alisa’s not discouraged. There are plenty of other fish in the pond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So on her next visit, she moves on to the second years. Fukunaga blinks and slowly shakes his head when she asks, all without uttering a single word. She corners Yamamoto during warm-ups, but he turns from a loudmouthed ace to a stuttering tomato within two seconds of their encounter, so Alisa simply pats his shoulder and sets off to find the third years. There’s a thud and concerned yelling as she walks away, but she figures it was probably just a misplaced serve. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo is on the side talking strategy with Coach Nekomata, and Alisa waits for them to finish before bounding up to him. “Hey, captain!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alisa-san.” He breaks into a grin. “Did you watch the episode last night? With—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—the proposal?” Alisa interrupts excitedly. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes! </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don't think Michiko will say yes, though. She knows he’s about to go join the Tokyo Philharmonic, and she can't abandon the family business.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo nods sagely. “For love, though, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of love,” Alisa starts, “are you in love with anyone?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arching an eyebrow, Kuroo deadpans, “Alisa-san, there's no denying you’re stunning, but if we were in a drama, we wouldn't last a season.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa rolls her eyes. “I meant for my brother.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. Well, Lev and I would be even more disastrous of a match. Oh, since you seem to be making the rounds, I suggest you skip Kai and try Yaku.” Kuroo chuckles. “Just don't tell him I was involved.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She finds Yaku in the middle of yelling at Lev’s poor receives, and although it’s supposed to be critical, there’s something about his reprimands that catches her attention. When Lev’s movements start getting sluggish, he waves his hands for him to stop and orders him to grab water, and it feels almost… affectionate. Yaku pats him on the back and ruffles his hair when he sits down, and Alisa is almost kicking herself with excitement about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>right </span>
  </em>
  <span>they look together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa waits for Lev to leave before she pounces. “Hi, Yaku! How’s my brother doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He straightens, face slightly flushed. “Alisa-san! Skyscraper— Uh, I mean, Lev— is fine. His receives are more solid, and he doesn’t fumble around as much. He’ll be good in our upcoming Spring High match, I would say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beaming with pride, Alisa replies, “All because of your careful instruction, of course!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yaku scratches his head, cheeks dusted pink. “Ah, well, it’s not just me, Alisa-san. Everyone helps, and Lev himself works really hard. He makes it easy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but Lev looks up to you a lot,” Alisa insists. “He’s always talking about how “receive practice with Yaku-san is actually super fun’, and the time you bought him inarizushi after practice even though it was raining.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...He talks about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the time.” A lightbulb clicks in Alisa’s mind. “Yaku, I think my brother likes–“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Alisa-san,” Yaku blurts out, bowing hastily. “But they’re calling me, I have to go.” He takes off in the opposite direction, and Alisa is left more confused than ever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can't believe it's already Christmas Eve,” Alisa wails, holding various shirts up next to Lev for size. “It's Christmas Eve and instead of being on a date with your cute girlfriend or handsome boyfriend, you're here thrift-shopping with your failure of a sister.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're not a failure, </span>
  <em>
    <span>neechan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Lev tries as a cashmere sweater is flung over his head. “Besides, it’s okay that I’m still single. You’ve never dated anyone either, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa blinks. “Oh yeah, no, I don’t love people that way. But I know you do.” She puts a sequined skirt back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, but—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ice skating with your significant other! Imagine how cute that’d be!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>We </span>
  </em>
  <span>could go ice skating right now,” Lev suggests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa brightens for a second before she considers what a weak substitute she is. Sighing, she says, “I suppose, if you don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lev leads her out of the store, carefully dodging an overflowing shelf of shoes. “I don’t,” he assures her, and Alisa wonders what she did to deserve such a sweet baby brother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nevertheless, she keeps trying. They have a practice match against Karasuno a few days later and Alisa strikes up a conversation with Yachi Hitoka, the younger manager. When Alisa finally suggests a date between her and Lev, Yachi’s silent for a second before whispering, “but he’s so, so tall. I feel like he’d accidentally step on me and wouldn’t notice,” and Alisa doesn’t know what to say to that, so that's out. Kiyoko, the other manager, declines as well, but they start talking about fashion and just like that, Alisa has another model for her upcoming show. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Asking the Karasuno boys turns out to be futile as well. She asks Lev’s friend, the orange shrimpy, but their setter overhears and promptly chokes on nothing, creating a fiasco that delays the match by ten minutes. The captain and vice-captain are obviously already a thing and so are the ace and libero, and actually, upon further inspection, everyone in Karasuno seems to be paired up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So this is why Kuroo calls Karasuno the ‘gayest volleyball team in Japan’,” Alisa murmurs to Yachi, who turns scarlet but doesn’t object. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>New Year’s rolls around and sure enough, Lev is still single. Although he doesn’t seem to mind, Alisa feels like she’s personally let him down, so to make it up to him, she plans to make </span>
  <em>
    <span>hatsumōde</span>
  </em>
  <span> spectacular. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bundle themselves in red winter coats and visit the Meiji Shrine, and while they wait for their turn to pray, Lev sprints to a karaage stall and returns with six different types of mystery fried food. They attempt to guess what kind is what, and Alisa guesses correctly each time. Lev, on the other hand, is convinced everything is chicken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While washing at the fountain, Alisa says resolutely, “I’m going to wish for good luck in your romantic future.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lev drops his ladle, then apologizes profusely to both the deities and the old women glaring at him. “What? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Neechan</span>
  </em>
  <span>, don’t waste your wish on that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a waste,” she insists. “You’re wonderful, the only reason you aren’t with someone is most definitely because of me, maybe the way I ask is too off-putting, I know you’re lonely—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’M NOT LONELY,” Lev interrupts loudly, then apologizes again when someone shushes him. “I don’t need a boyfriend or a girlfriend right now. I know you think you’re not enough, but you are. There’s no one else in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>whole wide world</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’d rather spend my Christmas or New Year’s Eve with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa feels like crying. “Not even Yaku?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even Yaku,” Lev insists. “Although he is cute.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alisa lets out a giggle that sounds like a sob. “You promise, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lyovochka</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise.” He bends down to hug her. “I’m so lucky to have you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>neechan</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Alisa sniffles as they enter the shrine. They ring the bell and throw coins in the offering box, and after bowing and clapping twice, Alisa wishes for good health and fortune for her loved ones. As an afterthought, she prays, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please let Lev and I always be able to visit a shrine together every year, no matter how old we get</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bows again and steps outside to where Lev is yawning like a cat. “Oh, okay, you’re done— can we get more food?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Alisa replies, and they race like little children to the food stalls as the </span>
  <em>
    <span>joya no kane</span>
  </em>
  <span> begins its tolling. Some things never change, after all. </span>
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